Everyone’s been there: You marry this nice charming guy, you’re totally into him, then, later,a month, a week, an hour you find yourself in bed with him. The music’s right, the passion is great, but something’s wrong. Very wrong.
His technique is, let’s just say, lacking, and as he’s doing that annoying thing with his tongue,hand and leg. How did he get this far knowing so little? Why didn’t anyone tell him how bad that feels?
The only way to have a truly satisfying sex life is to let your guy know what does — and doesn’t — turn you on. And, despite your fear of hurting his feelings, most men appreciate in-the-sack advice because knowing they’re getting you off gets them off, too.
Issue No. 1: He won’t go there.
Look: If your guy thinks your downtown area is just for one thing, that’s a problem. If you have to ask him every time, that is a problem. Have a glass of wine for courage, and ask what the deal is. Depending on his answer, you’ll need either another glass of wine or these tips.
Issue No. 2: He fumbles.
Most men do know that there are some key spots to stimulate, but many aren’t totally sure how to locate those spots in the moment (or with a new partner). If your guy is a bit lost, speak up and give him directions—with a few “mmm”s and a “yes!” or two for good behavior. (You don’t want to sound like a sexual GPS: “Left! Right! Recalculating….”) If you’re worrying about his male ego, don’t. Most guys have no problem with some guidance in this department.
Without taking anything away from mouths and other parts, hands are a sexual tool that every vagenius needs, and this applies to both oral and penetrative sex. Gently guide his to where you’d like them to be, and be enthusiastic when they get there.
Issue No. 4: He needs to vary his technique.
If he’s got only one move, it’ll get old no matter how good it feels. Try making sug gestions in the form of questions, such as, “I wonder how it would feel if you moved your tongue/finger in a circle?” or as compliments: “I liked the part where you did that.” Now you’ve got a vagenius on your hands (and other places).
Bad kissers are everywhere, sometimes even in our own relationships. The balance between teaching your partner how to kiss without offending is a precarious one, but certain rules make it easier.
Whisper something like, “It would excite me so much to have you kiss me softly.” And make sure you let him know how good it feels when he does follow your puckering pointers. It shouldn’t take him long to figure out what kinds of mouth moves turn you on, and hopefully he’ll learn to appreciate the art of the erotic kiss too.